A limitless credit card

9 min readNov 17, 2020

What am I doing?

Have you recently (or ever) stopped and wondered:

What am I doing?

We’re made to make the decision of what we want to do at a relatively young age, seldom even knowing much about the world or ourselves. We decide we’re going to pursue something usually due to external influences. Rarely thinking it through. If it’s not chosen for us, then we merely stumble into what we do.

More likely than not, we are on a trajectory, seldom of our choice. Sometimes we realise this, but most of the time, we simply just go with the flow. We go with what was presented to us, in one way or the other. This was how we were taught. This is what we observed, as the norm around us. As the social beings we are, we just want to be normal, to fit in, to be accepted.

But is it necessary to just be accepted, to succumb to our fear and laziness, to just go with the flow?

There was an interesting man, to say the least, who had a remarkable way of interpreting Eastern philosophies (mostly Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism) and making them palatable to the Western ear. His name was Alan Watts. One can listen to his talks for hours, I certainly can, and have.

Out of all the things he conveyed from the East to the West, there is one talk in particular that has had and still has an enormous impact on me. The focal point being three questions, that are essentially one important question:

“What would you do if money were no object?
How would you live your life?
What do you desire?”

A limitless credit card

After coming across these great questions (and answering them), I was very excited and had to ask others. I started asking people the same questions, but it wasn’t as effective for others as it was for me.

The problem with asking these questions directly, in their original form, was that they often don’t do what they’ve been intended to do. This is because, due to efficiency, our minds have two modes of thinking: “fast thinking” and “slow thinking”. (Daniel Kahneman, best explains this in his book Thinking Fast and Slow)

When you ask the questions directly, the fast thinking mode of your mind just provides the standard, default and usual answers. The mind takes the route of least resistance.

The questions needed to be updated to get people to engage their slow thinking mode. So I instead asked an updated version of the question:

What would you do if I gave you a limitless credit card?

I found that if you are asking others this question, it’s fundamental to convey that there is no limit. Sometimes I would need to drive it home and mention: You can swipe for anything, you can draw as much cash as you want, it’s limitless, it doesn’t matter how much you spend, the funds will never get depleted,…

I’ve been fortunate enough to spend a lot of my time at a restaurant, where I had a chance to talk to a lot of people on a regular basis. The great thing about the restaurant was that there were a lot of regular customers, but it being in a destination center, there were also a lot of new people and tourists on a regular basis. I had a steady supply of people to ask this new updated question.

Obviously, I did not ask every single person, but whenever I had a longer chat, felt comfortable with someone and felt that it was appropriate to ask, I would go for it. Usually it would be after multiple chats, occasionally also on our first chat. Predominantly I would ask them if they were alone. When there is someone else present, usually their opinion would be taken into consideration when answering and some form of virtue signalling would occur.

I’ve asked people this question for years now.

Round 1

First the reply starts with fast thinking, automatic answers.
I have come to call this Round 1.
This is the warm up round.

In the first round by a very large number, most answers follow a very similar pattern. People answer with some version of: they would buy a nice house(s), buy a nice car(s), travel a lot, help their family and friends, have fun, and so on. Hedonism and materialism mostly dominate round 1.

That’s all great. I let people get it out, this is the warm up round. We need to go deeper for real answers.

Round 2

What now?

After you have bought all the houses and cars you always wanted, and some more, traveled everywhere you always wanted to, and some more, helped everyone you wanted to.
What now?
What’s next?

This is the first time people actually stop to think about it. Everything so far, in round 1, was mostly automatic, fast thinking.

Most people only start to actually think about it now. The slow thinking begins. Some persist with the hedonism and materialism, but I usually just guide them through it, insisting and asking:
What now?
What’s next?
Few, if any are truly content with merely hedonism and materialism. The hedonic treadmill gets you back to baseline quick.

A good number of people say they would start a business of some sort, then just to be safe I remind them that they have an unlimited credit card, they don’t need any more money.

The ones that forget and say some version of “oh yeah, right”, they still need some more thinking to do. The ones that say some version of “because I want to do that regardless of the money it makes”, they are getting somewhere now.

Then, there are the rare ones. The ones that even prior to the question being asked, from their first impression, have a content and graceful nature to them. These rare individuals say they would not change anything, they would continue living as they are, pursuing what they are already doing.

The main thing in common they all have is that they pursue what they want regardless, and usually despite circumstances. More importantly they all have a tendency for continuous learning and evolution of what their pursuit is.

One of those rare individuals told me that the limitless credit card question is a good mental exercise, but that they prefer to think of it as going fishing.

Going fishing

They told me to compare what to pursue with going fishing. Some people will go to a spot to fish because they saw others go there. Some will go to a spot to fish because someone told them to go fish there. Some will come across the first decent looking (or not) spot and just fish there. Then they would by default return to that same spot.

That rare individual told me that you should start off by fishing at a lot of different spots. After some time, you will recognise and learn two things. Firstly, where you are good at fishing, where you catch a lot of fish.
Secondly, and more importantly, after some time, you will figure out where you enjoy fishing the most.

Sometimes it’s one very special spot. Sometimes you have multiple spots that you like. Sometimes the spot where you catch a lot of fish and your very special spot is the same spot, but it seldom is. Sometimes you need to balance between where you are good at catching fish and where you enjoy fishing.

Most importantly you should never stop going to and enjoying fishing at your special spot. Usually in the beginning, there are not a lot of fish at your special spot. You should just keep enjoying fishing there and the fish will eventually come, no matter how obscure and secluded your very special spot is.

The reward will take care of itself

How quickly you transition from wherever you’re fishing at the moment to fishing where you want to be fishing, depends from person to person, and their personal situation.

If you are alone, the transition can be done drastically quicker. Gone are the days if you make a wrong decision that it will result in you dying from a lack of food or shelter.

If you have a family, it is a bit different. You also have an obligation and responsibility, particularly to your children. It can’t be expected of your family to go through unnecessary hardship and without certain things, solely because you want to pursue something. The transition will take time, commitment, and planning.

In my case, our family needed a new start. We were slowly but surely realising, that we had fallen into a life we thought we chose and wanted, but actually was just the product of our surroundings and upbringing. We thought we were it’s creators. But after deeper interrogation, we realised, we actually stumbled into it.

I left the restaurant I invested so much time and effort into, as well as, all the other ventures. My wife left her work and career. We sold all of our possessions and moved to a new continent with only our clothes and a handful of electronics.

The first 3 months were a summer vacation on the seaside. Even before we left, I intended to start working on what I want to pursue after a couple days of rest. It was supposed to be a new beginning, but fear and laziness took its toll. I extended the resting period. I started doubting myself. Before you know it, the vacation was over and we have moved to the city.

Then I started teaching, which I still am, but it wasn’t enough income for our family. So, I got another job that was supposed to just help in the meantime, but ended up consuming a year and a half of my time. It was fear and laziness, again doing it’s thing. In that period I never asked myself ‘What do I desire?”

I always had a tendency, and still do, to do multiple things at the same time. I thought I was an entrepreneur, because of being raised in that environment and thinking that the world gave more recognition to starters and leaders than to followers. Then I thought, maybe I should not be a starter and leader, maybe a follower is what I am.

I definitely agree with Derek Sivers that you don’t always need to be the leader, that often the followers, the number 2s, 3s, 4s,… are more important and critical to a movement than the initial starter. As Derek says: “the first follower is what transforms a lone nut into a leader”.

But, as a follower, I was basically chasing someone else’s desire, even worse, it was someone else’s chase of just more money, more additional futile zeros. I realised it was far from my desire.

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”
Farrah Gray

After trying so many things and going into so many ventures, after being a starter and a follower, I realised my fundamental desire. I realised that whenever I ask myself what do I desire? My answer is always that I simply desire to explore my existence through experiencing, reading, and writing. Unlimited credit card or no money at all.

I have “REMEMBER” or “What do I desire?” set up in my notes and other places so that it stares at me constantly, as a reminder, ever present. Not letting me forget. Not letting me get distracted.

Currently I’m still teaching, an acceptable and enjoyable way of providing the necessary means for my family and I. The reading and writing is costing me, perhaps a time will come where it will not, but even if it does not, I’m still going to do it anyway.

It is where I enjoy fishing.
It’s my very special spot
This is what I desire.

What do you desire?